Finding My Message

In our Write/Speak program Barbara Sher gave us some exercises to assist us in uncovering our message to the world. First was the exercise to be the little Orphan that you were when you were little and write what you feel. Here is mine:

"What is my true problem as a little orphan boy? I continue to remember incidents where I did and didn’t do things in a way that I wish I had and it makes me cringe with disappointment in my performance. And I relate a lot of that to the fact that I just didn’t have a good understanding of the overview of things – I didn’t have any real good explanations, if any explanations at all – I didn’t have any support that I knew I could count on to be there for me and with me.

I knew Dad would let the bigger neighbor boy beat the heck out of me just to see if I would get mad enough and hurt enough to fight and hurt him back. I knew he would only stop another neighbor boy from jumping in to help the bigger one – who of course wouldn’t have needed any help.

Dad said he was going to bat for me when we broke into that deserted house and took those war medals but he really wasn’t he was just trying to scare us to teach us a lesson. Mom was too timid to do any standing up for me or any of us.

So it was that I was a little orphan boy who had parents that supported me financially and who I knew loved me but there was a giant missing bit of support and training and explanation and assistance.

My little orphan wants someone to assure him/her that he/she is loved and supported and that this grownup knows the way and understands what she needs to know and understand and is going to sit right there and hold her hand and help her and make SURE that she is happy and self-confident and knows how to deal with the issues of other kids and that I am not going to let anyone hurt her. She needs explanations – comfort – security of love and support.

And that support and love; that help is needed by a lot of people. A lot of people have the same kind of issues. A lot of people need to know that it is OK that their parents didn’t know and didn’t give them what they needed or did bad things; that their parents were just people who were trying to balance their lives between all the demands and teachings that they had but generally were really clueless themselves.

We all need to understand that it is OK – it is OK that our parents – that my parents - didn’t know. No wonder they didn’t know; they were traumatized themselves!!

They had all the lack of understanding, the pressures of religion and making a living; the standards of society to deal with, and then the additional pressures of Mother Nature giving them children to take care of.

They were getting older, and trying to keep a job and plan for the future, and trying to enjoy life while they were at it. They needed an understanding too!!

So here is the understanding – here is the love and explanation and training and the big picture about what life is all about, where you are now and where you are going and what you need to do and understand and know. And here is how to handle defeats and tough times; how to understand where you stand in the world and in every aspect of your self and your performance.

And the giant bonus is that these understandings will help you get that wonderful self-confidence that will make you completely comfortable with who you are, what you have, where you are, where you are going and how to handle yourself. That kind of self-confidence makes you comfortable with yourself and makes you beautiful to others. It attracts people; it creates love and a warm, loving person that attracts other warm and loving people.

Yes that is my story – that is my ache - to be able to provide that to others – and it isn’t limited to my family – I always knew that it wasn’t; that I just wasn’t bold enough to go for my real dream and to hell with how it is received!

If I can do a really good job of making the above case – of making it full of love and humor and touching emotions – some people will relate to it and it will be a very positive thing for them and I will be proud of it. And some of my family, now, or mine and my sisters' posterity, will recognize it and benefit from it. And my purpose in life – the best uses of my Attributes - bringing forth my highest potential in service to my Loved Ones - will be fulfilled!! I will feel the satisfaction and the Happiness that I do right now as the knot in my throat grows and aches and tears well up in my eyes.

And that, my friends, is what it is all about. That is when I know, and that is when you will know, that you are putting your Attributes to their best possible uses for the moment, when the passion you feel tells you you are.

That is when I can feel that glowing of my face begin to happen again – the tears coming to my eyes – feeling the connection to that light from above – like when I was a little boy in that field.

I had ridden my bike out there to be alone and pray. I knew for sure what my blessings were. I prayed and cried and prayed until I had presented myself openly and honestly, with perfect intentions and had completely cleared my mind. I felt I had a connection to the higher power and that a beam of light began to shine down on me. I had exposed my needs and desires and been grateful for all the blessings I had.

I felt then, 50+ years ago, so strongly that I can remember it vividly even now, that my face was glowing a brilliant white. That it came from a heavenly beam; that the Lord had blessed me. And, my most important dreams have come true!! I have a wonderful family with good possibilities. I love and am loved. I am active and healthy and making a positive contribution.

Here I am a 65 year old man with two kids and two grandkids who have good possibilities for their lives! I am in a position to help all of them with these writings and I am going to give it my all. I have lived my life with good moral values and good intentions and free from pain and suffering. I have suffered through some tough times and situations but came out the other side a strong man – someone I am proud of – someone that convinces me that I always was strong but just didn’t know it and had never been taught.

When I was young my Mom had what the doctor called a ‘Nervous Breakdown’ which I now completely understand. But at the time I thought it might be a weakness in the family that I had inherited and I lost confidence in myself that I would be able to withstand pressure.

Through the years I have had really tough pressures like most people have. I have not always been on top of everything but I have handled every situation and I have made generally good decisions. I have maintained my dignity in most every situation and made myself really proud in some. I have not embarrassed or defamed my family. I have stood for what seemed right to me.

And now I stand to try to make this world a better place to live so people don’t have to get put in those situations; so that we have well functioning governmental agencies that make life safe and comfortable and provide peace and security so that we can all pursue our own happiness. And now I can contribute my understandings and experiences to help others to make good progress in their pursuit of happiness!! Excellent!'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Then the next exercise was to be the SuperHero and write what you want to say to your little orphan and here is mine. I substituted my Granddaughter for myself since I am positioning myself to help my Loved Ones with the support that I needed. Olivia is such a wonderful, bright, happy child that I know she doesn't need this support right now and hopefully she never will. But this is for anyone who does need it:

"Hello little Miss Olivia (my Granddaughter). I am so sorry that you are having some confusion here. But trust me, My Little Love (my nickname for her), it is just a little confusion. I did the same thing and felt the same way and a lot of people do. So this is just a normal thing and I am here to help you.

The first thing to understand is that you are just a normal little girl and you are feeling normal things and you have this wonderful loving family here to help you and guide you to grow into a self-confident, comfortable and very Happy person. And you Will!!

And that self-confidence that comes from knowing you come from a really good and strong family that has and shares a lot of love, will make you a beautiful person inside and out. The right kind of self-confidence that you will gain, I promise, will shine from you and people will see it in your demeanor and your posture and your speaking and your attitude and it will make you feel really good and comfortable!

The next thing to understand is that you have been born with certain very unique interests and capabilities and understandings. I call them “Attributes”. And you have a Purpose in Life; to understand your Attributes and to put them to their best possible uses. Everyone and everything has unique attributes.

When a scientist develops a new material they immediately want to know all about it; is it heavy or light; will it bend?; is it gas or metal or liquid?; so they begin testing it and they learn and note those Attributes.Now if the new material is a metal they aren’t going to be disappointed if it isn’t as strong as steel or as light weight as aluminum, they just want to know what its attributes are. Then they will figure out the best possible use of this new material. And that is exactly what you and your family are going to do with you and your Attributes.

So don’t worry if you are not the best athlete or the prettiest or the smartest person in your class. When you fulfill your mission in life, to put your Attributes to their best possible uses, you will be extremely happy and lucky and you will love life and your family and friends and be loved by all those you care about the most!! It truly is and will be a wonderful life! So this is just the first day in our journey of discovery!

I love you My Little Love! Your Mom and Dad and Grandparents all love you! We are going to have this wonderful life together and we are having it right now! I LOVE our life and our family and we all love you!!

Granddad Willis1/27/2007

"Now ask this question –Who do you want to rescue? "

A certain group that has it wrong and I know how to help them.My family – my sisters and their families – my kids and their kids – our posterity

Second question –What do you wish they knew that would fix things if they knew it. Might be similar to the orphan –

I wish they understood the reality of the world and people and attributes – and looking internally to uses your attributes to their Highest and Best use.
I wish they wouldn’t be confused by religion stuff like I was; that they understand that they have an obligation to make themselves and others Happy – ‘to have life and have it more abundantly’!!

Third question –What insight and special Attributes do I have to best present this message? What is it in me that what kinds of things that are within me that I could help others with.

The fact that I have experienced these things and studied a lot of really good authors and writings looking for the answers and understandings. The fact that I experienced a strong lack of self-confidence, fears and doubts, yet found that I was strong; much stronger than I thought and that I now understand; much more than I thought I would be able to understand.

The fact that I like to explain things and present good ideas and have good discussions with objective people makes me a good person to be a public speaker - a presenter - an Author.

What am I capable of doing and seeing that is unusual that I can help people with?

I see that religion has caused a lot of confusion among me and my family [and the world!!] and I know it is a very touchy subject.

I see that there are taboo subjects in our society where we aren't allowed to have objective discussions and evaluations - where we are teaching our children as we were taught that you 'just have faith'; don't look at or talk about the facts; pray and everything will be alright.

I need to help them all to focus on being objective, making decisions for themselves using facts; separate religion from the real you that is living in this modern and wonderful society. Just focus on these things and life will open up for you and you will make yourself happy.

Here is a summary of what I learned from my Orphan story:I feel that I was never able to realize my full potential and be my happiest as a young person partly because my parents were too busy making a living for us. In addition they didn’t understand a lot about the world so to a certain extent they used religion as a crutch.

I want to rescue other members of my family, especially my children and grandchildren from this problem.

I want them to:-

Know and feel the love of their family.- Understand the realities of the world and of people and of their own attributes.

Be focused on using their attributes to their best purposes instead of what others say or think.

Understand that they have a real purpose in life; to use their Attributes to make themselves and their Loved Ones Happy – ‘to have life and have it more abundantly’!!

Understand an get a good education in the things you like and the things you do best.

Keep studying and listening to yourself and the things that attract you because as Barbara Sher says that is where your Genius lies – and as I say, that is where your Attributes can be used in the best possible way.